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Soda, Pop, Sodapop, Coke, whatever you call it
I love soda. I love sugar, and
caffeine. However, I'm going to let you know that I just
don't jive with the world's obsession over "cola" flavoured
sodas. All ratings are on a scale from 0 to 5 caffeine buzzes.
Here's the skinny on sodas:
| Coca-Cola |
1 buzz |
This stuff leaves a gross, filmy feeling on my teeth that feels like I've been eating car wax. I'm not
sure what causes it, but I suspect it wouldn't happen if I had less plaque. For sugar and caffeine
content alone, it gets a rating of 1 caffeine buzz.
|
| Pepsi |
1 buzz |
Boy, these guys were last in line when the creator was dishing out the creativy. They taste just like Coke.
Or is it the other way around? Do I care? Anyhow, they get the same rating, 1 caffeine buzz, purely for content.
|
| Jolt |
1 1/2 buzzes |
Another item in the line of Coke tastealikes. It's listed as having a
ton of caffeine, and it does, and so it gets 1 1/2 buzzes, for content.
Otherwise, yawn city!
|
| Fukola Cola |
2 2/5 buzzes |
This is a pretty special drink, it comes in $2 bottles distributed by "The Skeleteens". It has a ton of caffeine,
but still fails to address the "tastes like cola" issue. 2 1/2 buzzes.
|
| Mt. Dew |
4 buzzes |
Mountain Dew is caffeine central. Sugar is the second ingrediant on the list. It gives me headaches, sometimes.
It looks like antifreeze. How better can it get? It earns 4 caffeine buzzes.
|
| Dr. Pepper |
4 buzzes |
Ahh, carbonated prune juice. This definately breaks the mold of the same ol' cola. I live off this stuff. I use
it for motor oil. It really works! I recommend trying it. For its wide diversity, and because sugar is the
second ingrediant here, too, it gets 4 buzzes.
|
| 7 Up |
1 1/2 buzzes |
Ok, so it doesn't taste like cola. But I'm left wondering, what DOES it taste like? Carbonated sugar. It gets
points over the colas for being different, but it doesn't have any caffeine. Don't they realize that's why no
one's addicted to it? 1 1/2 buzzes.
|
| One |
1/2 a buzz |
What? This is Pepsi's attempt at marketing a diet soda without using the word "diet". It just might work is the
problem. It has 1 calorie, but "Diet Pepsi" has none. Evidently, they added 1 calorie's worth of natural and
artificial flavouring. Good enough, but like all sodas carrying Asparteme, it sucks. At least it still has
caffeine. Half a buzz.
|
| Squirt |
3 buzzes |
This stuff rocks. Carbonated grapefruit juice. Tart and sweet and carbonated at the same time. Given a choice,
I'll take this over most. It doesn't leave me feeling as thirsty as most sodas. I actually enjoy this one, as
opposed to putting up with it in order to get my fixes. A good, solid 3 buzzes. Great taste, less filling.
|
| Rootbeer |
2 1/2 buzzes |
Rootbeer is good... It isn't cola, so it already gets above 1 buzz. Depending on the brand, it can be better or
worse, more or less or no caffeine, but overall it all averages out to about 2 and a half buzzes.
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| Diet Anything |
1/2 a buzz |
One word. Asparteme. It sucks rocks. Don't fool yourselves, folks, this stuff causes cancer in lab elephants.
It's addicting (remember Tab? I know a woman who singlehandedly kept Tab in business). Asparteme tastes like
crap. But Pete, it doesn't have any calories! Yeah, whatever, dude. Call me when you're ready for chemotherapy.
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